No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
