Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
