When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
