Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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