and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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