dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
