He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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