When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
