this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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