that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize