i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
