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He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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