it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize