i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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