I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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