this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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