Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
