Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
