remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
