they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
