I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
