Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize