Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
