this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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