I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
