Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
