I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize