I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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