I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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