you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
