Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
