She's JV to your varsity
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
