did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize