saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
