he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
