just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
