I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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