Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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