I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
