Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
