i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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