You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
sarcasm needs its own font
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
