she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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