Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
