I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
