we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
