You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
