called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
