I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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