I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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