I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
