Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
