if you like me you must not know who I am
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I understand Curling. That high.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
