does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
