I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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