Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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