This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
