Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up backwards on a recliner
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
