NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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