dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
