the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
