Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
too bad you live with your parents still
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
