I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
