I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
