I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She announced her abortion via fbk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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