the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize