i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
