she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
