does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
